Despondency

Just when I thought it was finally getting better.

Just when I could finally think of you without being overwhelmed by sadness and happiness, without it sending shivers down my spine.

Just when we would touch and I’d think that the sparks were finally gone.

Just when you would wrap your legs around mine and it’s only effect on me would be seen by the slight smile on my face.

Just when I would see your lopsided grin and feel okay, like my insides weren’t melting.

Just when I would look in those masterpieces that are your eyes and not lose myself in them.

Just when I would look at you and not have my eyes be drawn to your lips.

Just when I thought it was finally getting better.

I hear you. Your words that unravel me, that plunge me deeper into this sweet torture that is falling in love with you. Your words that my mind turns over, savoring every letter. Your words which somehow break my broken heart.

And yet all I want to do is launch myself in to your arms and run my fingers through your hair and feel your body against mine.

But then I see her.

And I smile at you, my eyes glistening because it’s bright outside, and walk on.