“…men’s hearts are not often as bad as their acts, and very seldom as bad as their words.”
Sometimes in an attempt to be understanding and caring, we lose sight of what our loved ones really need when they’re down- a real, logical solution, not rosy lies slathered in honey.
Now please do not get me wrong, I am not berating anyone for their sweet disposition. I am merely trying to draw attention to what comfort must be, in addition to shoulders to cry on and arms to wrap yourselves in.
True, sometimes all we need is a lovely big hug or a shoulder to bury our necks. But this is temporary. And sooner or later we’re hit with our problem again, and it’ll keep taking swings until we find a real solution.
And a real solution requires honesty. Now this is the real issue. Whilst trying to make our loved ones feel better we often try to tell them what they want to hear but end up doing the exact opposite. A real solution can only be got when real advice is given, in it’s full glory. And it’s not always pretty, but does any kind of medicine really taste good?
So when someone is going through a hard time don’t just give an empty hug filled with equally empty promises that everything will turn out okay. Give them a hug, and really try to understand what’s wrong, try to give honest opinions and solutions and steer them towards what you think could be the way forward. Don’t just tell them it’ll be okay, give them a reason to think it too. Say what needs to be said, and more importantly, what needs to be heard. It’s easy to get lost amongst the thousands and thousands of little nooks and corners with traps, and sometimes all someone needs is a little nudge in the right direction to get them out of their maze.
And when they’re better, your honesty is what they will thank you for.